hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
