Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
