Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize