i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
