i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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