Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
