? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
