It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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