He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
