dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If that was your dad, he is hot
I bet he comes in French.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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