Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
