some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
