sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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