Your tits are I can't wait for
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Panties = found
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