Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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