i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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