So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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