do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
