So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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