i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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