so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
