I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
