He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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