Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she peed on how many people?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize