So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
