He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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