YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize