u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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