you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
