I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize