just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
