Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize