she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
