if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize