i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize