I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
