you have to choose: penises or morals?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
