You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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