i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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