Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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