It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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