On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
