tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
