did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
