I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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