Its about making memories worth repressing
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
