please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
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Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
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Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous