Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
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well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?