So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
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I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him