Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans

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  (203): maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans http://tfl.nu/l2qt
  Replies (36) Good night (699) Bad night (1969)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.

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  (919): Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman. http://tfl.nu/6efe
  Replies (9) Good night (3408) Bad night (808)
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  (631): View more from New York

  AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg

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  (631): AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg http://tfl.nu/wpj0
  Replies (48) Good night (664) Bad night (3379)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

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  (260): i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really? http://tfl.nu/3wbc
  Replies (22) Good night (699) Bad night (5813)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag

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  (970): He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag http://tfl.nu/538a
  Replies (16) Good night (1179) Bad night (4733)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...

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  (516): Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me... http://tfl.nu/nenj
  Replies (13) Good night (8050) Bad night (1229)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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  (618): i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything http://tfl.nu/e4ud
  Replies (8) Good night (3680) Bad night (1063)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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  (985): shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago http://tfl.nu/00sj
  Replies (20) Good night (6280) Bad night (1166)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

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  (312): You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/bowu
  Replies (9) Good night (4336) Bad night (1084)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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  (865): In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly. http://tfl.nu/9uwy
  Replies (10) Good night (746) Bad night (4163)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

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  (405): while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love. http://tfl.nu/g8jj
  Replies (6) Good night (3307) Bad night (950)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

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  (850): Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper?? http://tfl.nu/82gs
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (544)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3350) Bad night (546)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.

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  (484): He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER. http://tfl.nu/q9ww
  Replies (12) Good night (1428) Bad night (532)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit

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  (501): somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit http://tfl.nu/n1zz
  Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (403)

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