The best revenge is premature balding
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption