oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
