I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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