please come you make the beer taste better
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
