I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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