I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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