I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
