No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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