I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
