Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
