remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i now understand why vodka
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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