i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
