i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just had sex bonerless
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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