I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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