you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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