This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
