i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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