Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
